Tinder Date Goes Well, Nation in Shock

PROVIDENCE – A recent first date by a man and a woman who met on the dating app Tinder has sent shockwaves across the United States as both privately announced to their friends that they would, in fact, seek a second date.

The man, Jeremy Hill, 28, a graduate of Brown University with a degree in philosophy, cornered his older brother at a recent family member’s birthday party.

“He came up to me with this big smirk on his face,” said the brother, Damon Hill. “He took a sip from his Sam Adams and said, ‘Day, I met someone.'”

Elsewhere in the greater Providence area, the woman, Louisa Trepani, 30, a college admissions officer, made a quick phone call to her mother.

“Oh I am so happy she met someone nice,” said Maryanne Trepani. “It’s so hard for kids these days.”

The couple reportedly got drinks at Mulligan’s Tavern, a hip restaurant in downtown Providence. Eyewitnesses described their body language as ‘engaged, but not over-eager.’

“They each enjoyed a couple Sam Adams,” said bartender John Mullin.

Passersby outside the restaurant observed a goodbye that ended with an exchange of phone numbers and a passionate embrace.

This article is running simultaneously in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Providence Journal, and will be updated if the couple decides to seek a third date.

Author: Pembry Cornish

Pembry Cornish graduated summa cum laude from the University of Rhode Island, where he double majored in political science and journalism. After a brief stint at Rhode Island Public Radio, Cornish joined the Peace Corps, traveling to Botswana, Namibia, and Zimbabwe. After three years of service, Cornish returned home to the United States, and began working as the creative director for Minnesota Public Radio. In 2018, Cornish left MPR to pursue his dream of writing and publishing the news as he sees it, partnering with his long-time friend Dan Plighter on The Nebulous Observer.

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