FBI Agents Offer Pro-Bono Services to Arrest Roger Stone

FT LAUDERDALE – FBI agents in the recent indictment and arrest of Roger Stone, long-time associate of Donald Trump, offered their services free of charge, a source said. 

 “Oh yes. Yes yes yes. We definitely did,” said Florida bureau chief Keith Longdale. When pressed on the matter he responded, “We actually asked if there was anything we could do to get this job.”

“I was in at Disney World with my family,” said Kyle Beauchamp, an agent with the Florida bureau, “But I told my daughters ‘nope. It’s time to go. Mickey will be here next time’ and we drove home as fast as I could. There was no way I was going to miss this.”

CNN officials confirmed that in video of the arrest, the giggling in the background is, in fact, the FBI agents in question.

Author: Pembry Cornish

Pembry Cornish graduated summa cum laude from the University of Rhode Island, where he double majored in political science and journalism. After a brief stint at Rhode Island Public Radio, Cornish joined the Peace Corps, traveling to Botswana, Namibia, and Zimbabwe. After three years of service, Cornish returned home to the United States, and began working as the creative director for Minnesota Public Radio. In 2018, Cornish left MPR to pursue his dream of writing and publishing the news as he sees it, partnering with his long-time friend Dan Plighter on The Nebulous Observer.

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